Golf Jokes

One day a priest and a nun were on the driving range. The priest stepped up to his ball and proceeded to hit a nasty shank. The priest yelled in disgust, “God Dammit, I missed.” The nun said to the priest, “Father, you shouldn speak like that, God may strike you with lightning.” The preist hit his next shot, hooking it badly. Again he said, “God dammit I missed!” Suddenly a large bolt of lightning struck and after the dust settled, the nun was lying on the ground, dead. From up above the priest heard a loud voice say, “God dammit I missed!”


Two ladies were playing golf together. They came to a par 3. The 1st lady golfer teed off & the ball landed on the green. The 2nd lady golfer teed off & her ball landed within one centimeter of the 1st ball. The 1st lady golfer said, “Wow! I have never seen 2 balls so close before.” Both are married with kids.


A golfer has a 60 foot breaking putt and makes a bet stating that he has a dollar that says, “I can make this putt.” Everyone takes him up on the bet. He misses the putt by 5 feet and says, “You all owe me a dollar.” Of course his golf buddies think he is crazy until he produces a dollar that he wrote on it,”I can make this putt.”


Dentist to Patient: “Would you help me? Could you give out a few of your loudest, most painful screams?” Patient: “Why, Doc? It isn’t all that bad this time.” Dentist: “There are so many people in the waiting room right now and I don’t want to miss my 5 o’clock tee time.”